


A Little Decorum

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Affection, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Animals, Banter, Bathing/Washing, Bickering, Caretaking, Cleaning, Dinner, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Mush, Friendship, Grooming, Hunters & Hunting, Literal Sleeping Together, Messy, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Multiple Selves, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Partnership, Protectiveness, Queerplatonic Dark/Host - Freeform, Slice of Life, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 01:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13448094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: Dark discovers that despite appearances, the Host turns out to be a bit high-maintenance. Apparently it isn't enough that he secured a nice meal for him; now he has to, quite literally, clean up his act. Of course, the Host never reallyaskedto be cleaned, so it may prove a bit of a challenge.





	A Little Decorum

_I ought to let him do his own hunting; he tells me time and again that he’s capable of it_ , Dark mused for neither the first nor last time, flexing his claws into the pliant earth, patient but prepared. Back and forth the rabbit pranced through the grass, getting closer to him little by little, completely oblivious to his presence.

Dark had rather high standards for his meals and this particular rabbit was lacking, but it would make a fine meal for his friend. Speaking of which, the rabbit had just performed its last living leap. Dark’s claws tore from the earth and make quick work of it. Unfortunately for the prey, Dark was the only creature there to hear its dying squeak and he only snarled in pleasure at the sound of it.

Tail twitching triumphantly, he snatched the little thing up in his mouth and bounded off toward his favorite tree, several yards away. As he approached, his keen eyes could distinguish the heaps of dirt flying away from its base and he resisted the urge to growl.

As soon as he reached the dirt heap—approaching from the side, so as not to get clods flung in his face—Dark spat the rabbit out and sat, announcing sternly, “I believe I recall telling you to dig earlier in the day, so as not to draw attention to yourself.”

“The Host prefers the exercise just before dinner,” was the muffled reply from inside the fresh burrow. Dark merely tilted his head as the badger came into view, a coating of dust giving his fur an off-color in the dusk.

“Dinner is served, then.” Nudging the food forward slightly, Dark eased himself down from his sitting position to a more comfortable and regal sprawl. He watched carefully as the other creature approached, wrinkling his nose until it found what his blind eyes couldn’t. As always, it was only a matter of seconds and Dark couldn’t help but be impressed—not that he would ever admit it.

The meat was gone in short order and for a while afterward, the only sound was that of the Host’s small teeth gnawing at the bones. Dark amused himself by meticulously cleaning his lower haunch. They both knew better than to interrupt each other when it was mealtime, but as soon as the Host looked up from the remnants, Dark glanced at him. His lips curled back, teeth bared in distaste.

“You could show a little decorum; you have it on your nose.” That said, he lifted himself to his feet, barely giving the Host any time to react before he swept his barbed tongue briskly over his face. Reeling back from the ambush, the Host sputtered and sneezed, blinking rapidly, and Dark grumbled in an undertone, licking his own nose several times to get rid of the aftertaste of rabbit blood and dust.

“You’re  _filthy_ ,” he announced matter-of-factly, to which the Host snorted in irritation.

“There was absolutely no reason for Dark to do that! The Host could have dealt with it appropriately,” he countered accusingly. He was acting as if Dark had  _interfered_ , when he was the one who got him the meal in the first place! Of all the ungrateful—

“Come here,” Dark commanded ominously, to which the Host promptly did the opposite, performing an about-face and making a beeline for his burrow, for safety. Unfortunately for him, Dark had a long reach; all it took was a reproachful swat for the badger to tumble over and be pinned between his paws. The Host squeaked in dismay, startled by this change in position, but only a second later he was squirming and hissing, all the fur on his back bristling.

“Threaten me to your heart’s content; you’re quite frightening,” Dark assured him dryly before sweeping his tongue over the crest of the badger’s forehead, following the pattern of his stripes. The Host squirmed uncomfortably at the sensation, hissing a little louder for good measure, but Dark ignored him, continuing his ministrations and occasionally tightening the clasp of his paws if the Host suddenly decided to thrash.

Eventually, after they had shot a few growls back and forth, the badger quieted, huffing in resignation as the panther lapped at his hackles, smearing them firmly back down. After another moment the Host lowered his head with a sigh, settling it on top of one of the paws holding him in place. Dark paused mid-lick, the tip of his tongue caught between his front teeth. After a suspended minute, he freed it with a light snap of his jaws and then continued without a word.

By the time Dark was done grooming him, he’d gotten used to the mouthfuls of dust and to the… _unique_ odor of damp badger, but even when he lifted his head, signaling he was finished, the Host didn’t move. Whiskers twitching, Dark murred questioningly and tilted his head to get a better look at him. Once he sensed it, the Host stirred just enough that they could lock eyes.

“Aren’t you going to make your escape?” Dark quipped.

“The Host knows a night in his burrow would undo Dark’s hard work,” his companion replied, staring right through him. “He’s willing to remain above ground for tonight—as long as he is protected.”

Though his voice was too soft to read, Dark could smell the sleepy amusement from him and he knew exactly what he was really saying:  _If you want me so immaculate, give up your sleep to make sure I stay that way. You asked for it_.

“By all means, go back to sleep. You’ll need the rest if you intend to hunt for the both of us tomorrow while I catch up on mine,” Dark countered, only half-sarcastic.

“It’s about time that Dark gave him the chance.” The Host’s eyes closed again without another word and Dark rumbled lowly at him—whether it was a growl or a purr, only he knew.

True to his word, he kept his senses alert, scanning the shadows intently for any signs of movement, but he couldn’t resist lightly resting his chin on top of the smaller creature’s back. The badger snuffled softly but otherwise didn’t react, so there they stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a thing that happened on Tumblr and I must say, I'm really proud of it! I've never written an animal fanfiction before, so if you'd like, drop a kudos or a comment to tell me what you thought! I'd love to hear from you :D


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